Think Out Loud

NPA infested areas, military vehicles, a ride along steep mountains in a defective jeepney, unexplored islands, giant pacific waves, rainforests, heavy monsoon rains, a supertyphoon, a brush with death, a new lease of life... 

Mountains conquered, roads crossed, lost dreams awakened...

Friendships formed, relationships rekindled, a "family" born...

Hundreds of stories to tell; scores of lessons to share; thousands of memories to treasure.

I had great expectations for 2012 but the events that transpired were more than anything I have ever imagined. Thank you, Lord, for year 2012! Looking forward to the new and great things You have in store for me (and my friends and family) for 2013. You are good!

As 2012 ends, I bring back to You ALL praises, glory and honor.

In Jesus' Name, Amen!

A blessed and joyful 2013 to everyone! God bless!

Merry Christmas!

I know it's been a while since I posted something worthwhile here. A LOOOOT of things have happened lately. I'm thinking of backtracking to write about all of it here. Let's see. Maybe before the year ends. Hopefully I'll have the time and the inspiration to tell you all about it.

But I have another reason why it took me this long to post a new entry. When I posted that last entry dated October 18, I told myself that my next post is going to be about my scholarship application. The results came  later than I expected but finally, the results got out last week,

AND I GOT IN!!!

Praise God! It was weighing heavily on my mind the past few months and the wait was agonizing. Finally, it's here and the challenges are just about to begin. But let me share with you the three things (actually it's more than that but I'll just highlight 3) I learned from my application adventures:

1. God is true to His promises. When God tells you He will do it, He will do it. He never backs down on His word and He always keeps His promises. 
2. Trusting God is always the best option. God wanted me to surrender this dream to Him and I found myself having a hard time letting it go. I even surprised myself with my extreme unwillingness to let it go. It even had to go to a point where God had to put me in a situation just my faith in Him would grow stronger. Finally, I surrendered this dream to Him, trusting Him completely. And just like Abraham who got his Isaac back, God gave me the scholarship. And now, as I apply for the visa (that they say is a painstaking task), I continue to trust in Him that everything will be smooth because when God blesses, He adds no sorrow to it.
3. God provides. I had a lot of struggles while I was applying for this scholarship. I lack funds, I lack time, and I can't just abandon my job to blindly pursue the future. But God provided for my funds, even to the point that I was awarded as the Employee of the Month for May and received a financial award. There was also a time when God provided through my overtime pay. And even though I lacked the luxury of time, I received my papers in the nick of time. And the best thing about this is that as early as April, God brought to the office the person who would replace me and take over my tasks.  Truly, if God wills it, He will pave the way for you.

I work as a writer but I feel anything but a writer.

In a month, I only do 20% of writing. I'm usually doing layouts, designing stuff (which is an extreme struggle to do when I'm uninspired) and other admin tasks. Though I do go out more often to cover activities, I still feel that I'm writing way too less for a writer.

Sometimes writing is becoming a burden. Not because I don't like it but because I'm not given the leisure of time to develop it. Even for the past 3 years, I haven't attended even 1 writing seminar.

It's getting really frustrating. I need to be inspired. I need to be creative.

While in the midst of extremely busy relief efforts, I received terrific news.

I got in!


Praise God for this good news!

Even though I know that the path to my dream is not easy, I will continue to trust in God and believe in Him that He has the best and perfect plans for my life.

Thank God for this blessing!

Road trip + sceneries + DLSR camera = perfect way to start September!

It was a sudden trip to Nueva Ecija. My two companions were sent there to receive an award for the organization while I was sent there to cover it. I have been to Nueva Ecija before and I wasn't really that impressed with its landscapes. From what I remembered, it was just a province full of rice farms.

But we didn't realize that the place we were going to was the last town of the province and it sits almost in the boundary of Nueva Ecija and Aurora Province (and Aurora holds a special place in my heart). So it was a really big surprise for me to see mountains in plain-covered Nueva Ecija!

Hidden Valley

Amigas

Wow, I didn't realize it has been a long time since I posted an entry here. I can't imagine I skipped a whole month!

Oh well, it's not because nothing has been going on in my life lately, or nothing worth blogging. In fact, it's the the other way around. A LOT of things have happened since I took that unplanned hiatus, and a lot of those are certainly worth sharing.

Allow me.

XOXO

I was in 2 malls the whole afternoon yesterday. It's a typical Sunday bonding my family does after our church activities. First, we lounge around the ATC mall where the rich and famous shop and dine while we ordinary people admire them from afar. Then we go to the rowdy Festival Mall frequented by people ranging from the upper and middle class to the average, minimum wage earners like us.

Every Sunday, what my family usually does is grab a corner in the food court and kill time reading newspapers (or books), talk and eat snacks. Then we window shop.

Yesterday, while we were doing our usual rounds of window shopping, I noticed that there were a lot more people around, considering that it's a normal Sunday. Well, now that I think about it, I think it's mid-season sale though not highly advertised. And maybe the storm had something to do about it. People were forced to go inside the malls to keep dry.

We entered the festival mall through the side entrance. The place was packed and the noise decibels were higher than usual.  The food court was crowded and so were the toilets. The upper and middle class people were crowded in Starbucks, McDonalds, and other expensive restaurants and fast foods. Some of them were walking around, whipping out their expensive DSLR cameras, taking pictures of pointless subjects such as car license plates. There were those who were just dangling the cameras around their necks like a necklace, an accessory. They didn't even bother capping the lens cover. They're completely unconcerned (or maybe just plain ignorant or stupid) that their expensive lenses might accidentally bump into something and get cracked or damaged. Some were scrolling and swiping the screens of their obviously brand new iPhones and iPads. Others had dozens of shopping bags too many to carry for 5 people. Some of it almost spilled on the hallways.

With all the manhandled expensive gadgets and shopping bags around me, I suddenly wondered if I'm the only person in this entire mall who is literally broke. I only have 9 pesos in my ATM account, the money I have for this week is desperately borrowed from my uncle, I don't have an iPhone or an iPad, my laptop turns on only when it feels to do so, I can't afford credit cards, I have bills to pay, and the daily expenses just keeps on coming. For a dozen of times, I looked into the faces of the people I saw in the mall and wondered how they do it. I mean, assuming most of them earn minimum professional wages, I need to hear what they have to say about savings and budgeting. But if, I'm sure, most of them earns double or triple of what I get, then I'll probably hear the same thing from all of them - you're stupid for staying  in your job - and receive the same advice from everyone - get a new job.

Well, surprisingly, here's the thing. I may be elegantly broke and my job may pay me low but I was able to eat four meals today - breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner. I have an uncle who has enough money to lend me some for this week's survival. I have paid all my bills. I don't have any debts (except for the Pag-Ibig loan but that's a benefit I should regularly loan from to monitor my contribution status). I have no creditors running hot on my heels. I am healthy (physically, spiritually and mentally). My mother is healthy and she sometimes gets more money than I can save. I have a job. I receive money twice a month. I meet different kinds of people. I get to travel for free. I do what I love to do - write. And more.

God has been providing all my needs for the past 3 years. Well, for the past 23 years of my life, for that matter. In fact, just last Friday, God has proven that to me again.

Last Friday, I completed all my requirements for this course I am applying to and I'm ready to mail it. In Megamall, DHL airmail to Auckland costs P1,400. I was confident I still have P700 in my account. I was mentally computing how much would be left because I would still travel home. When I was about to withdraw, I was surprised to see that I only have P409 in my atm. And I have P1000 cash. I couldn't possibly go home. Or, I could go home but delay the mailing of my requirements until Sunday ( because there's no DHL in where I'm originally from). I was frustrated but honestly there was this peace inside me that I kept on denying and ignoring. This mail has been delayed for days (I was supposed to send it last Tuesday but it's a long story. What happened was the thing that truly frustrated me.) and my mind kept telling me I have every right to be upset. So I decided to be stupid and be upset, with the silent crying and all. Then I remembered my prayer that evening before I left the dorm that I would see God's power displayed.

When I had my P400 withdrawn, I sat down to think about my next course of action. Will I mail it or will I go home and wait until Sunday? Then I remembered I saw a DHL office outside Shangri-La. Maybe they charge cheaper there. Trying won't hurt, I told myself, so when I got there and asked how much the airmail is, guess what? They only charge P1,278! It's almost P200 lower than the one in Megamall. I have more than enough money to go home! Yay!

So what I almost considered to be the worst day ever became one of the best days of my life. And I know that there are still more to come. In a way, I felt entirely stupid in front of God. He's always telling me to trust in Him but what do I do? I focused on the realities of the situation, decided to feel sorry for myself, and secretly blamed God for the "misfortunes" that happened. But usually, it's in those "misfortunes" where God performs mightily. That Friday night and until now, I feel so ashamed because I acted like a stubborn, pathetic, doubtful,  disobedient and faithless Israelite of the Old Testament.

But I learned my lesson. I may only have a few coins left in my atm but with God filling my bank account, I have nothing to be worry about. Plus, He's my Father and I'm His child. I should have faith in Him and I should not doubt Him. Plus, He's God. Everything is under His control.

So in case a similar thing like this happens to you, don't do what I did. Trust God, have faith in Him, take a step back and be amazed.

It started a couple of weeks ago when my Mondays started to become interesting and eventful. It began when I donated blood to an elderly woman named Imelda. At first, I was declined because my monthly period is scheduled in four days. So after a trip to the hospital's lab, Fred (my officemate) and I went to talk and get to know Imelda and her family.

We learned that Imelda is fondly called Mommy Imelda by friends and family. She's a kind woman with a big heart - a heart for the Lord and for the less fortunate people. Actually, we learned about Mommy Imelda's condition because she used to be one of our volunteers. And it's interesting because she started volunteering at age 60. To think that most elderly women her age are enjoying their retirement in an island somewhere or at home in the presence of various grandkids. But for Mommy Imelda? She decided to wisely spend her senior years imprinting legacies in the lives of the children living in far-flung places in the Philippines. Unfortunately, her illness stalled her from continuing her meaningful endeavors. Until now, I am not sure what her condition is called. All I know is that her hemoglobin decreased that's why she needed blood transfusion. Add to that, she contracted pneumonia.

Things didn't go as planned when the lab rejected me for blood donation. So, I decided to pray for her instead. After all, I knew God would not bring me somewhere just to waste my time. He always has a reason for everything and at that moment, I knew in my heart that He wanted me to pray for her. So I did.

After spending 5 hours with Mommy Imelda and her family, I felt a special attachment to them. I felt their pain with the idea of losing their only parent, worries brought by the many incompatible blood results, love for their mother, and trust in God in spite of everything that is happening. I really hoped I can do something more for this family. And the Lord answered my prayer. After talking with some friends of the family, I found out that pre-menstruation isn't really an issue for blood donation. After talking with resident doctors and med techs at the lab, I was finally found qualified for blood donation.

(My blood wasn't transfused to Mommy Imelda because of incompatibility. However, they were able to exchange my blood with another bag in Quirino Hospital which was found compatible. That means they didn't need to pay for the blood bag they got from Quirino.)

Right now, Mommy Imelda is stable. I hope she would be able to be up on her feet again and be healthier than ever.

The following Monday was another eventful day with a number of reasons. One: Roger Federer won the Wimbledon (yay!). Two: We had our very first story conference (yeah, I know. Very work-related but still an achievement, if I can call it that). And Three: I was awarded as the Employee of the Month for May. The announcement came in late (typical) but better late than never, right? But more than just the certificate, I received a monetary award enough to pay off a debt. Ah, God truly provides!

Tomorrow is Monday. I wonder what God has in store for me. Certainly it's going to be busy because I'll be finalizing the photo exhibit but I'm wondering how exciting tomorrow will be. But really, if all Mondays will have its own outstanding adventures, my usual Monday sickness will totally blow off.

I guess I'll find out in a few hours.

Yesterday, the whole office was switched to "cleaning mode". Every one was armed with (surgical) masks and (surgical) gloves as we all went down on our hands and knees to clean our work spaces. Old files were exhumed and boxes were scattered all over the floor. Cabinets and drawers were drawn out and emptied. Blinds, windows and walls were cleaned for the first time in more than a year.

I decided to continue my race to overseas masters application, but this time I'm going to try out a different university and a different scholarship grant. I spent the rest of the day thinking how I will battle out with the university issue. But I don't want to go into the details of that.

One of the reasons why I decided to continue was because I got an 8 in my IELTS exam. It's a good score, considering I didn't enroll in a review class (highest score is 9). Since the validity of this test is only 2 years, I'll do my best to send in as many applications as I can. I decided last Friday that money should not hinder me from exploring. I don't want to see myself reflecting and regretting not doing things I should have been courageous to do when I was younger.

So now I start fighting. God's Word to me this morning was to be courageous and He promised that He will always be with me. In spite of the hurdles which are now looming in front of me, I'm praying that my faith will remain strong and that I will not fail God in ANYTHING. And I still want His will to be done.

I GOT DECLINED.

My application to take masteral studies in Massey was declined.

And I don't really know what I'm feeling right now.

Am I shocked? Maybe. Devastated? No, surprisingly not. But I couldn't say I found it unexpected. I was a little open-minded when I started this and maybe unknowingly, I have prepared myself to face and hear (or in this case, read) rejection.

But the battle for admission isn't exactly over. I was informed that I could still apply for other programs. But do I really want to bother? I'm currently studying the alternative but I don't know. A part of me wants to let this go. Another part of me want to just delay this for another year. But another part of me wants to continue.

So what do I do? Continuing would entail expenses, which I lack (I couldn't even pay for my rent) but stopping might hinder the blessings from coming.

What do I do, Lord? Do I continue or do I stop?

Once again we're back to the restless world of disaster relief. But this time, I think I already got the hang of it. I'm not as baffled as I was before. But there's still a lot of work to be done. After all, we are just beginning.

Jeremiah 29:11

I miss going on missions that stretch to two weeks. Missions where we do house-to-house visits. It helps me understand communities and family relationships more. At the same time, I also get to see and photograph beautiful natural sceneries.

I hope I would develop on this task and do it more in a grander scale. From meeting with health aid beneficiaries, I want to upgrade and do bigger magazine-style documentaries in the future. I want to work with  well-established companies and organizations involved in such adventurous and exciting endeavors. In fact, I'm dreaming of becoming a National Geographic Explorer one day (for now, a dream just to amuse myself but we'll never know). This is actually one of the things that influenced me to go outside the communication box and pursue a different masters degree. Like anthropology. I think it's going to be highly interesting and fun.

I want to spread my wings and stretch my horizons. I believe God doesn't want my life to be in a standstill but to be full of growth. I also believe that it is He who puts certain desires in our hearts. Each one is uniquely made. Every fiber of creativity is different in each individual.

I want to channel these interests and skills  I have in writing, photography, and travelling into something greater that will bring glory and honor to the Lord. My life is a product of grace. As a result, I am inspired to be a good steward of these skills I have and the desires He placed in my heart. And I am excited to do these incredible things with God. I know that God is not yet finished surprising me with His plans.

That awkward moment when the guy who said "I love you" is married now.

(Not that I took it seriously. Honestly, I care less about that guy. Probably the only thing that intrigued me was the idea that someone did marry him. Haha.)

That awkward moment when the guy who said "I like you" is also married now.

(I wasn't so surprised. A lot of girls really liked him (and even lusted after him - shudder) but he's not really my type. I remember my good friend who was crushing over him gave me those killer glares that I was letting go of a fine catch. Ha! As if.)

And finally there's that moment when I saw God's amazing grace that He didn't allow me to be consumed by stupid teenage infatuations. If I did, my life will probably not be the same. Back then, I was almost on the verge of seizing what the present offered because I thought 'the future is unknown anyway so, why not? Such offers may not come again.' Yet in spite of my twisted emotions, God did not allow for His will not to happen.

With that, I am extremely grateful.

In the end, all of us are happy. The guys are now happily married with the women God has early on set aside for them while here I am, having the time of my life. I'm enjoying the friendships I have and I'm having fun doing what I do - travelling, writing, taking pictures, and achieving my goals in life one by one.

All is well to whom who surrenders his whole life to Christ.

Jose Rizal's missing letter tucked inside his shoe. Anastasia Romanov's whereabouts. Amelia Earheart's crashed plane.

There are things in life that would probably remain a mystery forever. God, in His sovereignty and wisdom, chose not to divulge every shrouded mystery in this world. Perhaps the truth would be too much to handle or maybe the truth doesn't really matter at all. Maybe it's the effect of that unknown fact was really that matters. 

When we reach heaven, we may finally know the answers to earth's mysteries but when that day comes, I doubt we'll even care. But as long as more mysteries in this world are unveiled, man will continue to search for answers as man is wired to be naturally curious. Yet in the end, it is God who will finish writing the world's history.

And you and I will be in it.

I think the hardest stress to handle is emotional stress.

I can work for 12 hours straight and do it for a month as long as I'm happy and enjoying what I'm doing. But if emotional stress gets in the way, I feel drained. It sucks the energy out of me.

Just like today. I was already doing okay when suddenly - BAM! It had to happen.

Sigh.

I hope tomorrow would be better.

I love to write. I love to travel. I love taking pictures. But from where I am right now, I feel like I've already hit the ceiling. I need a new place to flow my creativity and interest. Lately, I've been flanked with a lot of administrative work and I don't really find it fun. Plus, I'm being boxed in with corporate rules on how things should be done.

I just clicked the SEND button. There's no turning back now. I just hope someone answers my email soon. And I hope the reply would be favorable.

In the meantime, I'll use my Monday leave to good use by completing my papers. Then continue doing  the extremely important task I should be working on.

I cannot be over confident about this. I need to do my best.

My theme song for this: I dare you to move...

Sometimes, guys can be extremely insensitive - especially when they are courting someone.

Gal friend is in town and we have bunch of activities planned for the next couple of weeks. In fact, we were planning on having an ice cream night out today and have a long delayed girl talk. Unfortunately, insensitive lovestruck guy had to ruin the plans. I was only gone for a few minutes to take a phone call and when I come back, gal friend is already leaving to have a date with him.

Insensitive jerk I want to pull his hair off.

But since I have no power over lovestruck individuals (actually I do but I'm too nice to play my cards on them), I  just shrugged it off and let them go. Well okay, not exactly shrugged off as in the I-don't-care-do-what-you-want kind of way. I just didn't let them go that easily.

Here's the point. I understand that they're in the stage of gauging a love and long-distance relationship and I'm sure they missed each other's presence. But that doesn't mean that lovestruck guy can have gal friend all to himself for the whole two weeks. She has friends too and we all miss her. They said they don't want to alienate other people with their "budding" relationship but what's so non-alienating about this?

It's a little annoying. I was invited me to come (probably was forced to, I'm sure) but sometimes you just have to learn to accept the facts and say no. At least I don't have to witness the gooey-doe-eyed creepiness lovestruck people do. And I know I'm sounding extremely unromantic but you should also know when to stay out of other people's date life (and I mean physically) even when you're friends with them, because sometimes seeing them suddenly sugaring is creepy. It's like a friend asking you if your older brother is hot. Ew.

I'm annoyed but I'm not mad. I just hope lovestruck guy realizes this because I know gal friend does, but she just can't say no. Probably promised him she would join him everyday. But I hope she told me sooner that they would be out everyday of the week or when guy makes spontaneous arrangements which is happening almost every night so that I wouldn't expect her company.

So I guess my social life for the next two weeks wouldn't be so alive after all. At least I get to save money.

>:-)

I'm blogging using my new phone. I downloaded this blogger app and i want to see how it works.

I know i owe you tons of blog entries but i'm just extremely busy. I hope i'll have some time out to gather and organize my thoughts and put it into writing.

But you know what, I'm actually at work now so i gotta go. Later!

I have a confession to make: I AM A GIRLY-GIRL.

Well okay, sometimes. Most of my friends may not believe this but there are times when I like girly stuff, like fashion. Sometimes I daydream wearing fashionable clothes instead of the drab ones I usually wear at work. Or wear stilettos instead of dirty sneakers; fashionable blouses (complete with the accessories) instead of the plain t-shirts; and stylish pants or cute skirts instead of faded, worn out jeans.

Then there's my short, lifeless hair that grows out too fast. Sometimes I want to curl it or straighten it.

And of course, there's the make-up that I hardly ever wear. Sometimes I wonder what I would look like if I put eyeliners, eye shadows, and mascara.

In short, I want to be at least presentable when I go out into the world. Every Monday, I step into a building where almost all people look like they stepped out of a magazine. Every Tuesday to Thursday, people look decently dressed in their semi-business attires. Every Friday, people show off their fashionable individuality. And every Sunday, I hang out with 3 of the best dressed people in church.

And what do I look like? Take Sunday, for example. None of my clothes match and I always lug around a huge backpack. On work days, I wear jeans, blouse, doll shoes, and a backpack. Yes, I bring backpack to work. I look more like a student than a working person. No wonder some people don't take me seriously.

Once, I tried working to express my inner girly-girl. I started with the hair, then the clothes, picked the right shoes, and finally applied the cheap make-up (minus the eye make-ups).

For a few months, I was able to maintain it. But after a while, I got tired of it.

It's always like that. I would start working my way to becoming a presentable citizen of the working class when I'll once again return to my drab ways. I would simply get tired of pampering myself.

In spite of my inner girly-girl, my simplicity in fashion still dominates. Or perhaps it's laziness. Out of our Sunday group, I'm the most raggedly-looking one. Even when we ate at this high-end hotel-restaurant last Christmas, I came wearing a white t-shirt, cargo pants and hideous sneakers. The hotel staff probably thought I was an alalay of one of my friends.

Ha, I looked so simple.

Out of all the women living in the world right now, I'm probably the only who doesn't have morning and evening rituals. I'm so weird. HAHA.

There may be a girly-girl side of me but the real me is would ought for comfort.

But it's still fun to daydream about being glamorous once in a while.

I just had the WORK TALK with my roommates and I realized I am a totally normal human being.

Don't patronize me. I may look like I have a very busy and interesting work life but there's always a time when I'm dead bored at work. Like now. When I feel like the fire of passion has been snuffed out. I end up doing crazy and bad things like not working.

In spite of working in the same company for almost 3 years, I feel like I've been bouncing from one job to another because of the series of positions I had. Once I was an executive assistant, then did some resource-related work, then wrote for radio, did feature writing, and now... still writing. But why do I have the feeling this year will be different again? (although I hope they'll put me out on the field more with the camera and recorder at hand. That will be a very good "different" I'll gladly welcome with open arms)

But seriously, my work future is as foggy as Baguio's worst fogs. Regardless of my thoughts and feelings, I honestly don't know what's going to happen to me this year. I don't know "the" plan. I may be kicked out, be assigned to do other tasks, be forced me to resign, or be a floating employee.

I guess the worst thing that could happen to me is to be cut out from travel sprees. This coming year, they plan on hiring additional writers, contracting freelance writers, and hiring employees that would do the social media stuff so I'm kinda wondering where that would leave me.

I have been putting off these thoughts for a long time now because I believed it simply wasn't normal to feel this way about a job. But after a talk with my roommates who are experiencing the same things as I do (and do worse things like playing games or going to the mall during office hours, lol), I realized that I'm normal. People also undergo this stage at some point in their lives. No job is perfect. Every job will always have its limitations. The best I can do is to train myself to be thankful always and be sensitive to God's voice to find out when its time to level up and move on.

But as of the moment...

I think I've been stuck in the office chair for so long that I need to go out and explore. I need a breath of fresh air. I need a change of view. I need sunlight. I need to sniff new stories.

I need to search for new stories. And eventually search for my life.

FINALLY! A breathing time. I know this is a little late (very late), but i still want to share here in my blog my memorable experiences last 2011.

Truly, 2011 was a year beyond measure. God blessed me with tons of surprises and granted many of my heart's desires. Even just a few weeks before the year ended, God had been gracious. I want to share how He showed me His love and faithfulness to me for the whole year.

JANUARY
1. I had the opportunity to witness a beautiful reunion between a father and daughter who hadn't seen each other for years. The daughter, Erica, was just a baby when her father was sent to jail and sentenced for life.

When asked for her Christmas wish, Erica wished to see her father again. You see, Erica was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Given her condition, she might not see her father again.

So our friends from FEBC arranged for Erica to meet her father at the New Bilibid Prison in Muntinlupa City and we helped. We picker her up at Child Haus where she was recovering and her excitement was very evident and infectious. According to her aunt and grandmother, the child is a daddy's girl. And it was even more stimulated when her mother left her and her twin sister for another man when her father was jailed. Talk about too much drama for an 11 year old.

Finally, they met. I struggled fighting back tears because their reunion was very beautiful. Erica didn't show even an ounce of awkwardness while in the presence of her father. In fact, she didn't waste any opportunity to hug him, kiss him, and make lambing to him. She knew their time together was limited. In spite of her young age, she knew how to make use of this golden time.

The reunion between the father and Erica's grandmother almost made me cry too. It was a mixture of emotions: happiness, relief and sadness. Happiness because finally, a mother got to see her son after more than 11 years. Relief because her son is safe, and we all know what prisons are like. Criminals kill each other - that sort of thing. And sadness because she can't stay with him and he can't leave with them. It would probably take more than a decade before they once again see each other.

Going home was probably the most dreaded part of that day. Father and daughter cried. Mother and son hugged each other tight. Just reliving it makes me remember the painful parting this family had to endure. But they were glad that even for just a short while, they were able to see and hug each other.

I told Erica that I have an ever present father I want to share to her. When I told her about Jesus, she smiled and gladly accepted my "offer".

2. A few weeks after that momentous day, my uncle bumped into my father at the mall. Too bad I didn't see him even though I was only a few stores away. Or maybe it's a good thing I didn't. But nonetheless, I'm glad to know he's alive and okay. Although, that day with Erica and her father made me wonder when I'll have a beautiful reunion with my father.

FEBRUARY
This was the month when I experienced my first ever Volunteers' Rally event. This was particularly special for our department because it was the first and last event where we were complete.

We had fun designing our booth. I almost didn't sleep doing that. But it was worth it. People who visited our booth found our pictures funny and interesting.

Preparing for this event was the best part. We had great laughs.

I miss it.

MARCH
My first time to live thousands of kilometers away from home! Finally I found a dorm and has been living by myself for majority of the month. Unlike most people, I didn't really experience homesickness because my home is just 2-3 hours away. Being too dramatic about it would be a little stupid. Plus, I really wanted to know how I would fare living out of my cocoon. And so far, I ended up gaining about 5 kilos. This year, that has to go down.

APRIL
1. My first television stint! My boss was interviewed on this talk show aired on cable and the producers gave us the freedom to run the episode. So I had to make a list of questions, answers - basically, I had to write a script and sort-of- produce that specific episode (without doing the actual production). For a first timer, I think it was handled pretty well. I mean, I didn't mess up big time but it wasn't perfect either.

2. I was employee of the month! (Our boss said I was building my own department, a one-(wo)man department. Haha.)

MAY
The month my travel-writing career kicked off. For my first assignment, I flew to Aklan and Antique to cover various stories there. Three things to describe it:

1. Road trip;
2. Great team work; and
3. Boracay for free!

For more of my Aklan-Antique trip, you can read more about it here and here.

JUNE
1. I finished making that dreaded script about Father-and-Child Relationship. I had a HARD time writing it that I thought it would never end. Nothing was popping in my head (get a glimpse of my dilemma here).

But according to the line producer, the episode garnered a good amount of feedback. The discussion, according to him, was "meaty".

Thank God. Glory to Him!

2. They say "Problems are hidden treasures."

True enough, I discovered the treasure of God's unwavering love and the treasure of true friendship.

JULY
1. Volunteers rally part 2, but this time with photographers.

2. I don't remember any more magnanimous event during this month but I'm sure it has a lot to do with friends. It was a carry over of my "situation" last month. I feel blessed to have such awesome friends!


AUGUST
1. After a two-month travel hiatus, I was once again back in the game. I started with Valenzuela, then covered a story in Pangasinan and spent a day with Muslim kids in Payatas.

2. In Pangasinan, I met and talked to a 95 year old grandmother!

SEPTEMBER
1. My birth month! I officially turned 23.

2. Antique part 2. I went back to Antique to cover a livelihood story. Once again, I saw the mysterious black sand beach and beautiful Antique sights.

3. Boracay part 2. Who said you need thousands of pesos to reach Boracay? I only had P500 when I went there and I had a blast! Once again, I got a henna tattoo, this time with Angel.

OCTOBER
I had the most unexpected travel adventure of my life - Aurora!

Originally, I wasn't planning on covering stories there but God allowed me to see the amazingly breathtaking beauty of Aurora and meet Dumagat tribesmen. Plus, for the first time I experienced 16 hours of extremely intense travel!

God has been really gracious and amazing to me. Aurora wasn't even a desire of my heart yet He allowed me to be there. I wondered what I did to deserve that blessing and He simply told me:

"It's not about what you did. It's about who I am."

NOVEMBER
1. So the year is about to end and I've been to Luzon and Visayas. Then I realized I haven't been to Mindanao this year so I asked God if He would allow me to travel to Mindanao before the year ended - and He did. I was able to go to Agusan del Norte.

In Agusan I met new friends, learned more about the Bisaya dialect, met another tribal group - the Mamanwas, heard the touching story of a father's love, and got to see the famous Lake Mainit. The experience was made complete with military escorts and floating NPA presence. Thank God for the protection!

2. After a week in Agusan del Norte, I went on a road trip to Davao City. There, friends and I spent the night in Samal Island and I was able to fulfill a promise I made to myself - return to Jack's Ridge.

God is good!

DECEMBER
It didn't end in Agusan del Norte and Davao City. Just a few weeks after my Mindanao stint, I found myself back in Mindanao, specifically in Cagayan de Oro City and Iligan City. I was sent there to cover the disaster relief operations we were having. For the first time, I was exposed in a fresh disaster area. The moment I got off the plane, the whole city was reeking with death. Anyway, I was able to hear stories of survival and compassion.

I felt like a CNN reporter. To make things even better, I got to experience being JC for 2 days. LOL

It was there when I realized that God isn't finished with me yet. This 2012, there will be more to come. More places to visit, more people to meet, and more stories to write.

Year 2011 was certainly a year beyond measure!

Excited for what's coming in year 2012!

I can't believe I'll be saying this, but I can't wait to get back to the office. The past two weeks was anything but a vacation.

Nobody could really blame any one for the disaster that happened a few days before Christmas. It's not like any one could have stopped mother nature from unleashing her fury for the sake of holidays. In fact, flood victims were most definitely not expecting a Christmas stained with tragedy and trauma.

But it did happen.

Ever since the news broke out that people in Mindanao need help, our cellphones were buzzing with calls and text messages 24/7. Almost everyone was having a working vacation.

It didn't sit well for me, to be honest. I have been really looking forward to this 2-week vacation because we were living our lives in constant pressure for the past 4 months. I won't deny that I'm close to being burned out and I desperately need to refuel. The idea of informally working during these couple of weeks was simply draining.

We need a break. I need a break where I can forget about work for a while, clear my head, and stretch my muscles.

But apparently, this simple wish was not possible. Not when thousands of people in Mindanao needs help.

So now, I find myself itching to go back to work. Not that I'm exactly thrilled or anything. I still need my needed rest. But as long as this relief operation is ongoing, I know I wouldn't be able to have that. And I feel that if I'm back in the office, I would be able to work more efficiently because I'll have everything I need there: the fast internet connection, postpaid cellphone lines, unlimited ink printer, computers, and people.

What a great blog entry to start off my 2012.