Think Out Loud

The reason why I came and lived in NZ. I experienced how it was like to study in a top 100 university. It was definitely challenging but I feel I came out of it better, stronger, and wiser!

2013 and 2014 cohort. Mabuhay, Filipino scholars!

First year flatmates.

Celebrated my first quarter life in Auckland. One of my best birthdays ever. And one of the best surprises I've had too, teehee

When I gave Ginny my moral support for her bungee jump, Taylor Swift's dance crew and make-up artist happened to be there as well. So of course we had to have our picture taken with them. I may not like TS but I definitely liked her crew!

The first time Praveen (all of us, really) were pulled over by a cop for speeding. We were on our way home and it happened while we were only just a few meters from my flat. Bummer.

Year-end costume party at Kelsy's place (who is ironically not in the photo). I came as Katniss Everdeen (without a bow and arrow) because I was very stingy with my money.

I spent my last few weeks in New Zealand with these two and their epic load of craziness. Missing them so much!

My first time at windy Welly!

Of course we're not going to let the chance of seeing real snow pass us by. My thesis supervisor (who's German) was so happy for me.

Oh yes I did it!

And this! This actually came first. I'm seriously in love with parachutes right now.

My grad school classmates. We're, like, the epitome of united nations: New Zealand, USA, Canada, Tonga, Philippines, Cambodia, Indonesia, Vietnam, China.

We watched the musical play Wicked.

And Mamma Mia.

And of course the Sound of Music!

One of my biggest achievements in NZ (aside from getting my degree) was participating in a photo exhibit - twice! It was my first time to be part of a photo exhibit as a hobbyist.

Mirror-like Lake Pukaki. It's just one of NZ's many pristine lakes.

I did wine tasting. I didn't want to waste the money I paid for so I made sure I drank every last drop of it (12 glasses in total). It was the first time I felt what tipsy meant.

I dragged my jaw all the way to the train tracks when I saw Dunedin's train station. It's like a castle!

If you've watched Prince Caspian of the Narnia series, this place would look familiar to you.

We went to the northernmost tip of New Zealand where you'll find Cape Reinga. This is a sacred place for the Maoris because they believe this is where the spirits of their dead go.

The iconic Auckland City Tower taken during New Years Eve.

Traffic jam. They are so cute!

And of course, the skyline of Auckland City where I lived for 2 years.

Only a few more months left before I'm back to the grind. Things are still uncertain at this point (like where will I work) but I cling on to the hope that God has a plan and He has made a part of it. I am excited to see where God will take me and I am excited to meet the people He wants me to serve.

This video was written and produced by my very good friend.This is one of the things that keeps me going whenever things get hard and frustrating here.

I have a certain dislike for drama and romance novels. Oftentimes it is melancholic, tragic, depressing or just plain boring. But thanks to a mistaken assumption (it's a David Baldacci book for crying out loud!), I ended up reading One Summer. I thought it was a thriller so I read further on, waiting for the part where the killer would spring out, or for the conspiracy angle to be thrown in. Apparently, this was a romance and drama. So it came as a real shocker to me when I realised that I've reached 50% of the book. I even became teary-eyed at some points. I was gripped by the story that I ended up finishing it in one day. That's a record in the drama-romance department for me. It often takes me months, and most of the time I don't finish it. So yay to me! And boo for I wasn't able to have any thesis work done for today (or for the past few days, to be precise. 😅). 

My mind is swirling with information.

I just came from a meeting with my research supervisor. Unlike the first one we had 2 weeks ago, she had lots of inputs this time around. On our first meeting, she didn't really say much. And it was a very quick meeting too. I think we were both still reeling from the sudden change of events. For the last three months up until the last week of February, we weren't supposed to be working together because I was assigned to a different supervisor. But due to some department restructuring that I didn't bother to ask or understand, I was reassigned to another.

I admit that was a bit of a bummer. I already have good rapport with my supposed supervisor. She was my professor on three papers last year and she helped me develop my research proposal. Plus, she is an expert on my topic.

But my new supervisor isn't so bad either. In fact, she is one of the best. I know a lot of my colleagues wanted her as a supervisor because they are assured they will be able to produce high quality researches. And while her background is anthropology, she's bringing a new perspective on my human rights research topic.

Which brings me to my floating frame of mind right now. She was finally able to look into my research so she was ready to tackle it and give her expert opinions. She suggested a lot of things, mostly literature, to ground my topic. And I'm starting to feel that my simple research topic has started to grow tentacles. After the meeting, I literally had to sit down first to process everything we've talked about.

So in summary, here's what I need to do:

1. Read.
2. Write.
3. Think.

So in one sudden motion, I'm plunged back to reality. From all the reading I needed to to, a thousand stack of papers suddenly fell from the sky and crashed all around me. But I'm not complaining. It's about time I get back on track and start doing real research work.

i miss home. but i'm also starting to like it here. sometimes i want to go home for a short visit but 2 years is flying by so fast. i'm feeling torn. but I guess that's normal. it's cold here right now. it's winter but there's no snow. my sinuses and ears hurt whenever i go outside because of the chill. imagine tsca studio temperature times 5 with matching breeze. sometimes strong wind. i never knew i could stand that temperature. sometimes i feel like a walking icicle. i've never experienced autumn or winter before so in spite of the freezing weather, i push myself to go out and savor it, even for just a few minutes. a few Saturdays ago, I went to the park to take pictures. i couldn't hold the camera right because my hands were shaking from the chill - and I haven't held a camera for some time. a month, i think. i'm a bit frustrated with the photos i'm taking. hopefully, i'll get more practice in the weeks ahead.

sem break is slow and dull and a bit of a bummer because of this exam i'm waiting which is scheduled next week. i couldn't do an all-out rest because i'm doing a bit of studying here and there. (and it's not helping uplift my spirits that the exam is on the subject i'm starting to regret taking. the professor was immensely terrible. i learned a lot from my readings and researches, and not anything from him.)

but in spite of that, i hope my break will get better after the exam. i hope i would be able to do some travelling.

chao for now.

I feel really good today! I enjoyed our life group lesson. We watched a video of Joseph Prince’s preaching at the Hillsong Conference last year and we learned more about the law and grace. The message was a good reminder for me because I feel that ever since I arrived here in Auckland, I've been pushing myself too hard into accomplishing the goals that I have. I forgot that it’s not by my strength that it’s going to be accomplished, but by the strength, leading and grace of God.

I also had a great bonding time with the group (which is the purpose of this entry). We divided into small groups and shared what we’ve learned from the message. I missed having this kind of conversations so I feel really refreshed and inspired. And we prayed for one another. It’s been a long time since someone last prayed for me (face-to-face) specifically about my concerns. I’ve been really stressed out with school the past few weeks, with my tons of readings and demanding assignments. Since the semester started, I’ve been doing all-nighters that I feel like I’m sleepwalking around the campus everyday. But after being prayed for, I felt the burdens of school work slightly lifted off my shoulders. It was such a relief!

After the Bible study, we ate fooooood! Kristy, one of the girls, baked some tasty brownies (which I think is mixed with healthy ingredients because she’s an aspiring dietician). Linley, another girl, brought feijoa fruits. I had no idea that such a fruit existed (apparently, it’s a fruit that grows here in New Zealand) but it tastes really good! It’s sweet and it looks like something you would mix in vodka. And another guy (his name is difficult to remember but he’s Indian) brought a couple of pizzas.

While eating, I played the piano! Jin Wei (our leader) got this new organ and Linley kinda pushed me to play. My playing has gone really rusty now but I’m glad my fingers were reunited with the white and black keys again. I played As the Deer and One Desire, while Jin Wei played the guitar. I have never played the piano with another instrument before so it was a new experience. My musical world has been left in a standstill for a long time now that everything has become rusty. Even my voice is not faring very well, LOL.

Since we are an Asian group (majority are Malaysians but there’s also a Korean, an Indian, a Chinese, and of course, Filipinos), we ended the night learning some Korean, Malay, Indian and Filipino words.
Even though there were only 7 of us out of the 15 who were supposed to arrive, I  had a really great time. Living in a city far away from home without my family and friends around gets kinda lonely and boring. But God has answered my prayer and brought me to this group that I’m starting to get comfortable with. (They’re pretty active too, which I’m glad to know.) I hope (and pray) that we'll be good friends (like the borther-sister relationships I have back home) and that I’ll learn more about the Lord with them. I thank God for their lives and I hope I’ll have more friends here in New Zealand.