Think Out Loud

I decided to continue my race to overseas masters application, but this time I'm going to try out a different university and a different scholarship grant. I spent the rest of the day thinking how I will battle out with the university issue. But I don't want to go into the details of that.

One of the reasons why I decided to continue was because I got an 8 in my IELTS exam. It's a good score, considering I didn't enroll in a review class (highest score is 9). Since the validity of this test is only 2 years, I'll do my best to send in as many applications as I can. I decided last Friday that money should not hinder me from exploring. I don't want to see myself reflecting and regretting not doing things I should have been courageous to do when I was younger.

So now I start fighting. God's Word to me this morning was to be courageous and He promised that He will always be with me. In spite of the hurdles which are now looming in front of me, I'm praying that my faith will remain strong and that I will not fail God in ANYTHING. And I still want His will to be done.

I GOT DECLINED.

My application to take masteral studies in Massey was declined.

And I don't really know what I'm feeling right now.

Am I shocked? Maybe. Devastated? No, surprisingly not. But I couldn't say I found it unexpected. I was a little open-minded when I started this and maybe unknowingly, I have prepared myself to face and hear (or in this case, read) rejection.

But the battle for admission isn't exactly over. I was informed that I could still apply for other programs. But do I really want to bother? I'm currently studying the alternative but I don't know. A part of me wants to let this go. Another part of me want to just delay this for another year. But another part of me wants to continue.

So what do I do? Continuing would entail expenses, which I lack (I couldn't even pay for my rent) but stopping might hinder the blessings from coming.

What do I do, Lord? Do I continue or do I stop?

Once again we're back to the restless world of disaster relief. But this time, I think I already got the hang of it. I'm not as baffled as I was before. But there's still a lot of work to be done. After all, we are just beginning.