Think Out Loud

Jeremiah 29:11

I miss going on missions that stretch to two weeks. Missions where we do house-to-house visits. It helps me understand communities and family relationships more. At the same time, I also get to see and photograph beautiful natural sceneries.

I hope I would develop on this task and do it more in a grander scale. From meeting with health aid beneficiaries, I want to upgrade and do bigger magazine-style documentaries in the future. I want to work with  well-established companies and organizations involved in such adventurous and exciting endeavors. In fact, I'm dreaming of becoming a National Geographic Explorer one day (for now, a dream just to amuse myself but we'll never know). This is actually one of the things that influenced me to go outside the communication box and pursue a different masters degree. Like anthropology. I think it's going to be highly interesting and fun.

I want to spread my wings and stretch my horizons. I believe God doesn't want my life to be in a standstill but to be full of growth. I also believe that it is He who puts certain desires in our hearts. Each one is uniquely made. Every fiber of creativity is different in each individual.

I want to channel these interests and skills  I have in writing, photography, and travelling into something greater that will bring glory and honor to the Lord. My life is a product of grace. As a result, I am inspired to be a good steward of these skills I have and the desires He placed in my heart. And I am excited to do these incredible things with God. I know that God is not yet finished surprising me with His plans.

That awkward moment when the guy who said "I love you" is married now.

(Not that I took it seriously. Honestly, I care less about that guy. Probably the only thing that intrigued me was the idea that someone did marry him. Haha.)

That awkward moment when the guy who said "I like you" is also married now.

(I wasn't so surprised. A lot of girls really liked him (and even lusted after him - shudder) but he's not really my type. I remember my good friend who was crushing over him gave me those killer glares that I was letting go of a fine catch. Ha! As if.)

And finally there's that moment when I saw God's amazing grace that He didn't allow me to be consumed by stupid teenage infatuations. If I did, my life will probably not be the same. Back then, I was almost on the verge of seizing what the present offered because I thought 'the future is unknown anyway so, why not? Such offers may not come again.' Yet in spite of my twisted emotions, God did not allow for His will not to happen.

With that, I am extremely grateful.

In the end, all of us are happy. The guys are now happily married with the women God has early on set aside for them while here I am, having the time of my life. I'm enjoying the friendships I have and I'm having fun doing what I do - travelling, writing, taking pictures, and achieving my goals in life one by one.

All is well to whom who surrenders his whole life to Christ.

Jose Rizal's missing letter tucked inside his shoe. Anastasia Romanov's whereabouts. Amelia Earheart's crashed plane.

There are things in life that would probably remain a mystery forever. God, in His sovereignty and wisdom, chose not to divulge every shrouded mystery in this world. Perhaps the truth would be too much to handle or maybe the truth doesn't really matter at all. Maybe it's the effect of that unknown fact was really that matters. 

When we reach heaven, we may finally know the answers to earth's mysteries but when that day comes, I doubt we'll even care. But as long as more mysteries in this world are unveiled, man will continue to search for answers as man is wired to be naturally curious. Yet in the end, it is God who will finish writing the world's history.

And you and I will be in it.

I think the hardest stress to handle is emotional stress.

I can work for 12 hours straight and do it for a month as long as I'm happy and enjoying what I'm doing. But if emotional stress gets in the way, I feel drained. It sucks the energy out of me.

Just like today. I was already doing okay when suddenly - BAM! It had to happen.

Sigh.

I hope tomorrow would be better.

I love to write. I love to travel. I love taking pictures. But from where I am right now, I feel like I've already hit the ceiling. I need a new place to flow my creativity and interest. Lately, I've been flanked with a lot of administrative work and I don't really find it fun. Plus, I'm being boxed in with corporate rules on how things should be done.

I just clicked the SEND button. There's no turning back now. I just hope someone answers my email soon. And I hope the reply would be favorable.

In the meantime, I'll use my Monday leave to good use by completing my papers. Then continue doing  the extremely important task I should be working on.

I cannot be over confident about this. I need to do my best.

My theme song for this: I dare you to move...

Sometimes, guys can be extremely insensitive - especially when they are courting someone.

Gal friend is in town and we have bunch of activities planned for the next couple of weeks. In fact, we were planning on having an ice cream night out today and have a long delayed girl talk. Unfortunately, insensitive lovestruck guy had to ruin the plans. I was only gone for a few minutes to take a phone call and when I come back, gal friend is already leaving to have a date with him.

Insensitive jerk I want to pull his hair off.

But since I have no power over lovestruck individuals (actually I do but I'm too nice to play my cards on them), I  just shrugged it off and let them go. Well okay, not exactly shrugged off as in the I-don't-care-do-what-you-want kind of way. I just didn't let them go that easily.

Here's the point. I understand that they're in the stage of gauging a love and long-distance relationship and I'm sure they missed each other's presence. But that doesn't mean that lovestruck guy can have gal friend all to himself for the whole two weeks. She has friends too and we all miss her. They said they don't want to alienate other people with their "budding" relationship but what's so non-alienating about this?

It's a little annoying. I was invited me to come (probably was forced to, I'm sure) but sometimes you just have to learn to accept the facts and say no. At least I don't have to witness the gooey-doe-eyed creepiness lovestruck people do. And I know I'm sounding extremely unromantic but you should also know when to stay out of other people's date life (and I mean physically) even when you're friends with them, because sometimes seeing them suddenly sugaring is creepy. It's like a friend asking you if your older brother is hot. Ew.

I'm annoyed but I'm not mad. I just hope lovestruck guy realizes this because I know gal friend does, but she just can't say no. Probably promised him she would join him everyday. But I hope she told me sooner that they would be out everyday of the week or when guy makes spontaneous arrangements which is happening almost every night so that I wouldn't expect her company.

So I guess my social life for the next two weeks wouldn't be so alive after all. At least I get to save money.

>:-)