Think Out Loud

NPA infested areas, military vehicles, a ride along steep mountains in a defective jeepney, unexplored islands, giant pacific waves, rainforests, heavy monsoon rains, a supertyphoon, a brush with death, a new lease of life... 

Mountains conquered, roads crossed, lost dreams awakened...

Friendships formed, relationships rekindled, a "family" born...

Hundreds of stories to tell; scores of lessons to share; thousands of memories to treasure.

I had great expectations for 2012 but the events that transpired were more than anything I have ever imagined. Thank you, Lord, for year 2012! Looking forward to the new and great things You have in store for me (and my friends and family) for 2013. You are good!

As 2012 ends, I bring back to You ALL praises, glory and honor.

In Jesus' Name, Amen!

A blessed and joyful 2013 to everyone! God bless!

Merry Christmas!

I know it's been a while since I posted something worthwhile here. A LOOOOT of things have happened lately. I'm thinking of backtracking to write about all of it here. Let's see. Maybe before the year ends. Hopefully I'll have the time and the inspiration to tell you all about it.

But I have another reason why it took me this long to post a new entry. When I posted that last entry dated October 18, I told myself that my next post is going to be about my scholarship application. The results came  later than I expected but finally, the results got out last week,

AND I GOT IN!!!

Praise God! It was weighing heavily on my mind the past few months and the wait was agonizing. Finally, it's here and the challenges are just about to begin. But let me share with you the three things (actually it's more than that but I'll just highlight 3) I learned from my application adventures:

1. God is true to His promises. When God tells you He will do it, He will do it. He never backs down on His word and He always keeps His promises. 
2. Trusting God is always the best option. God wanted me to surrender this dream to Him and I found myself having a hard time letting it go. I even surprised myself with my extreme unwillingness to let it go. It even had to go to a point where God had to put me in a situation just my faith in Him would grow stronger. Finally, I surrendered this dream to Him, trusting Him completely. And just like Abraham who got his Isaac back, God gave me the scholarship. And now, as I apply for the visa (that they say is a painstaking task), I continue to trust in Him that everything will be smooth because when God blesses, He adds no sorrow to it.
3. God provides. I had a lot of struggles while I was applying for this scholarship. I lack funds, I lack time, and I can't just abandon my job to blindly pursue the future. But God provided for my funds, even to the point that I was awarded as the Employee of the Month for May and received a financial award. There was also a time when God provided through my overtime pay. And even though I lacked the luxury of time, I received my papers in the nick of time. And the best thing about this is that as early as April, God brought to the office the person who would replace me and take over my tasks.  Truly, if God wills it, He will pave the way for you.

I work as a writer but I feel anything but a writer.

In a month, I only do 20% of writing. I'm usually doing layouts, designing stuff (which is an extreme struggle to do when I'm uninspired) and other admin tasks. Though I do go out more often to cover activities, I still feel that I'm writing way too less for a writer.

Sometimes writing is becoming a burden. Not because I don't like it but because I'm not given the leisure of time to develop it. Even for the past 3 years, I haven't attended even 1 writing seminar.

It's getting really frustrating. I need to be inspired. I need to be creative.

While in the midst of extremely busy relief efforts, I received terrific news.

I got in!


Praise God for this good news!

Even though I know that the path to my dream is not easy, I will continue to trust in God and believe in Him that He has the best and perfect plans for my life.

Thank God for this blessing!

Road trip + sceneries + DLSR camera = perfect way to start September!

It was a sudden trip to Nueva Ecija. My two companions were sent there to receive an award for the organization while I was sent there to cover it. I have been to Nueva Ecija before and I wasn't really that impressed with its landscapes. From what I remembered, it was just a province full of rice farms.

But we didn't realize that the place we were going to was the last town of the province and it sits almost in the boundary of Nueva Ecija and Aurora Province (and Aurora holds a special place in my heart). So it was a really big surprise for me to see mountains in plain-covered Nueva Ecija!

Hidden Valley

Amigas

Wow, I didn't realize it has been a long time since I posted an entry here. I can't imagine I skipped a whole month!

Oh well, it's not because nothing has been going on in my life lately, or nothing worth blogging. In fact, it's the the other way around. A LOT of things have happened since I took that unplanned hiatus, and a lot of those are certainly worth sharing.

Allow me.

XOXO

I was in 2 malls the whole afternoon yesterday. It's a typical Sunday bonding my family does after our church activities. First, we lounge around the ATC mall where the rich and famous shop and dine while we ordinary people admire them from afar. Then we go to the rowdy Festival Mall frequented by people ranging from the upper and middle class to the average, minimum wage earners like us.

Every Sunday, what my family usually does is grab a corner in the food court and kill time reading newspapers (or books), talk and eat snacks. Then we window shop.

Yesterday, while we were doing our usual rounds of window shopping, I noticed that there were a lot more people around, considering that it's a normal Sunday. Well, now that I think about it, I think it's mid-season sale though not highly advertised. And maybe the storm had something to do about it. People were forced to go inside the malls to keep dry.

We entered the festival mall through the side entrance. The place was packed and the noise decibels were higher than usual.  The food court was crowded and so were the toilets. The upper and middle class people were crowded in Starbucks, McDonalds, and other expensive restaurants and fast foods. Some of them were walking around, whipping out their expensive DSLR cameras, taking pictures of pointless subjects such as car license plates. There were those who were just dangling the cameras around their necks like a necklace, an accessory. They didn't even bother capping the lens cover. They're completely unconcerned (or maybe just plain ignorant or stupid) that their expensive lenses might accidentally bump into something and get cracked or damaged. Some were scrolling and swiping the screens of their obviously brand new iPhones and iPads. Others had dozens of shopping bags too many to carry for 5 people. Some of it almost spilled on the hallways.

With all the manhandled expensive gadgets and shopping bags around me, I suddenly wondered if I'm the only person in this entire mall who is literally broke. I only have 9 pesos in my ATM account, the money I have for this week is desperately borrowed from my uncle, I don't have an iPhone or an iPad, my laptop turns on only when it feels to do so, I can't afford credit cards, I have bills to pay, and the daily expenses just keeps on coming. For a dozen of times, I looked into the faces of the people I saw in the mall and wondered how they do it. I mean, assuming most of them earn minimum professional wages, I need to hear what they have to say about savings and budgeting. But if, I'm sure, most of them earns double or triple of what I get, then I'll probably hear the same thing from all of them - you're stupid for staying  in your job - and receive the same advice from everyone - get a new job.

Well, surprisingly, here's the thing. I may be elegantly broke and my job may pay me low but I was able to eat four meals today - breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner. I have an uncle who has enough money to lend me some for this week's survival. I have paid all my bills. I don't have any debts (except for the Pag-Ibig loan but that's a benefit I should regularly loan from to monitor my contribution status). I have no creditors running hot on my heels. I am healthy (physically, spiritually and mentally). My mother is healthy and she sometimes gets more money than I can save. I have a job. I receive money twice a month. I meet different kinds of people. I get to travel for free. I do what I love to do - write. And more.

God has been providing all my needs for the past 3 years. Well, for the past 23 years of my life, for that matter. In fact, just last Friday, God has proven that to me again.

Last Friday, I completed all my requirements for this course I am applying to and I'm ready to mail it. In Megamall, DHL airmail to Auckland costs P1,400. I was confident I still have P700 in my account. I was mentally computing how much would be left because I would still travel home. When I was about to withdraw, I was surprised to see that I only have P409 in my atm. And I have P1000 cash. I couldn't possibly go home. Or, I could go home but delay the mailing of my requirements until Sunday ( because there's no DHL in where I'm originally from). I was frustrated but honestly there was this peace inside me that I kept on denying and ignoring. This mail has been delayed for days (I was supposed to send it last Tuesday but it's a long story. What happened was the thing that truly frustrated me.) and my mind kept telling me I have every right to be upset. So I decided to be stupid and be upset, with the silent crying and all. Then I remembered my prayer that evening before I left the dorm that I would see God's power displayed.

When I had my P400 withdrawn, I sat down to think about my next course of action. Will I mail it or will I go home and wait until Sunday? Then I remembered I saw a DHL office outside Shangri-La. Maybe they charge cheaper there. Trying won't hurt, I told myself, so when I got there and asked how much the airmail is, guess what? They only charge P1,278! It's almost P200 lower than the one in Megamall. I have more than enough money to go home! Yay!

So what I almost considered to be the worst day ever became one of the best days of my life. And I know that there are still more to come. In a way, I felt entirely stupid in front of God. He's always telling me to trust in Him but what do I do? I focused on the realities of the situation, decided to feel sorry for myself, and secretly blamed God for the "misfortunes" that happened. But usually, it's in those "misfortunes" where God performs mightily. That Friday night and until now, I feel so ashamed because I acted like a stubborn, pathetic, doubtful,  disobedient and faithless Israelite of the Old Testament.

But I learned my lesson. I may only have a few coins left in my atm but with God filling my bank account, I have nothing to be worry about. Plus, He's my Father and I'm His child. I should have faith in Him and I should not doubt Him. Plus, He's God. Everything is under His control.

So in case a similar thing like this happens to you, don't do what I did. Trust God, have faith in Him, take a step back and be amazed.