Think Out Loud

2. An apartment. As early as this month we are starting to move into our new office. As what I've mentioned in my previous entry, it's farther away from my house. It will cost more too. Tomorrow, Ate Ana and I are planning on looking around Pasig to find a place that would be near our office and at the same time would fit our budget.

3. Cellphone. I just bought a cellphone last year and now it's starting to self-destruct. I honestly don't know why it's doing that. I didn't do anything weird to it and I took care of it well. Well, okay maybe it slipped out of my hands a few times but I didn't expect it to give out this soon.

4. Clothes. My pants are starting to fit snuggly. I need to seriously lose weight. I hope I can do that without any struggles.

5. Shoes. I think I only have two pairs of good, reliable shoes left.

6. Be active in church. I don't know why I'm including this in my list. It's like a last minute thought and I can't bring myself to delete what I'm writing right now. Even though I know that I'm not a "church person" and would rather choose doing ministry outside the church, I also don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be involved in some church activities. Maybe I missed the weekly practices or I am just too bored on weekends that I needed some activities where I can productively channel my time.

Since I'm relatively new in this church (and in the group), it was my first time to meet the other members of the large group. At least now more familiar faces are added, though I hadn't really formed a bond with any of them. But I'm usually like that when I meet people for the first time, especially in parties. I spent the whole time seated beside my D group-mates since they are the ones I am more familiar with.

From that party, I got a necklace (from the exchange gift), a notepad and a mirror (from the white elephant gift), and a black and white ceramic bowl (a gift from J).

Next, next week we'll have the Christmas party at work. But what I'm more excitedly looking forward to is the Christmas get together that Maryse, May, and I are planning.

I miss my friends.

Merry Christmas!

For our company's Christmas party, we'll be having:

This is going to be tricky. I'm not a fan of dressing up, especially costumes. I think princesses are overrated yet it's still the easiest one to do. Here are some of the things I thought of dressing up as:

1.) Phantom of the Opera

Who said the infamous phantom is a man? For all we know, it might have been a woman! That would definitely put a twist in this classic story.

2.) Plants Vs. Zombies

Actually, we thought of doing this as a threesome. Kuya ben will be the plant, I will be the zombie, and Ate Vj will be the singing sunflower.

After all, we were pretty addicted to that game before.

I know it would appear like we're going to a Halloween Party, but I saw this picture of Solenn Heussaff wherein she dressed herself as a zombie (this was during halloween). It was very simple (I can wear any clothes I want) and the make-up was absolutely gory. Gory, but artistic. The only downside is that I don't know anyone who can create a make-up effect like that.

3. Sunshine Corazon

It would be easy. All I'll need is the geeky Ninoy glasses. I'll make do with the short hair. The main point of that look anyway are the glasses and the earphones. But yeah, too safe.

4.) Cady Heron

Nope, not the mean girl Cady. Just the simple Cady that her two best friends fell in love with. It would be an easy thing to pull off. An oversized pink t-shirt, faded jeans, and a pair of sneakers. Ah, that would be one comfortable costume to wear. And FYI, I don't care what anyone thinks, but Lindsay Lohan will still have a special place in my fave young actors list.

5.) Or, I could always come as myself.

If they kick me out, I could always spend it in the mall, read a book in a coffee shop, or browse books in a nearby bookstore.

I think I would enjoy that more than dress up outrageously.

Ouch!

Hopefully I'll be able to think of better costumes before the costume party, or I better start thinking of thousand reasons to legally bail it.

The retreat was last weekend. I didn't go. It was Tito Aldi's birthday and i wanted to celebrate that with my family. I was planning a surprise gift that time too, which i was able to purchase and give. Besides, i know God will not only speak to me in a retreat, but any time, even if i am just in the safe confines of my room.

The sudden answer kind of startled me. During my devotion, I wasn't really asking for that particular "Question". it has been months and i had already forgotten to pray about it, though it still runs in my mind every time i am in the bus.

But when I got the answer, I knew in my heart that it was the answer I was waiting for. it was so specific, i almost laughed. I am still asking God for more confirmations in the coming months and remaining years. I have to be sure that it is the right answer that I am waiting for, not just something that i thought is the answer. But I'm once again blown away to see that God really do listens to my prayers and questions, in spite of my many shortcomings.

I read this in Joel Osteen's book, Become A Better You and i was so encouraged:

... God wants you to go further. He's a progressive God, and he wants every generation to be increasing in happiness, success, and significance. No matter where we are in life, God has more in store. He never wants us to quit growing. We should always be reaching for new heights in our abilities, in our spiritual walk, in our finances, careers, and personal relationships. We all have areas where we can come up higher. We may have achieved a certain level of success but there are always new challenges, other mountains to climb. There are new dreams and goals that we can pursue....

... But be careful: Sometimes when you are enjoying life, it is easy to become complacent, to get satisfied, and think, Yes, God's been good to me. I can't complain. I've achieved my goals; I've reached my limits. But God never performs His greatest feats in your yesterdays.

... He may have one wonders in the past, but you haven't seen anything yet! The best is yet to come. Don't allow your life to become dull. Keep dreaming, hoping, and planning for new projects, experiences, and adventures with God.

The second paragraph was the one that struck me the most. I know it's been the thing that has been holding me off. But I never realized that it could be the one thing that could hinder me from becoming the person God wanted me to be. Probably this is the reason why He fulfilled one of my goals right away (which I thought He would give to me when I'm older), because His plan for me is beyond my current dreams. He wants me to keep on dreaming, hoping, and planning for new experiences and adventures I would have with Him. All I need to do is stretch my dreams and don't box His abilities in my limited mind. I have to trust Him that He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.

Hiding within the confines of your comfort zone really tends to get boring. Why get scared of the "crazy" zone when you have God with you all the way? And He doesn't just go with you, He goes before you. This is what I should keep reminding myself.

I'm excited to live the present and eventually live the future.

I had an extremely busy day at work, rushing to finish at least half of our Christmas giveaways. on my way home, traffic was intense. jeepneys were full. i had no choice. i decided to walk all the way from Buendia to Taft, where the bus station was. i had fun walking. i felt like i was back in Los Banos, where we try outdoing ourselves by walking through miles and kilometers just for fun. and i kept thinking about all the calories i was burning. it kept me motivated all the way.

when i got home, i can't wait for a good, long rest. it's the weekend so i could sleep in. the long walk made me dead tired. my mother could not believe i walked that distance. i thought she was going to lecture me but thankfully she didn't. after all, i told her about the calorie-burning idea and she liked it. i could feel my legs sore and thumping. it felt weird. the moment i lied down in bed, i instantly fell asleep.

suddenly, i woke up with a loud pounding on the door. it was so loud my eyes flew open, and my sleepy, tired haze were thrown out of the window. i was alarmed. someone was screaming and my bedroom floor was vibrating from the impact.

finally getting a cloudy grasp on the situation, it was just our neighbors (whom we are having problems with because of their utter rudeness and non-stop partying keeping us up all night) were terrorizing each other. nothing surprising with that. i knew chaos was bound to happen with these people sooner or later. so from being concerned, i became thoroughly annoyed. i checked the watch and it was 12:30 in the morning.

what an ungodly hour to terrorize people and neighbors when all are probably in deep sleep.

great.

and then, to make things even noisier, i heard windows breaking and glass shattering. apparently, a (crazy) woman was screaming her head off, throwing profanities at our neighbors. she wasn't from our block. she just went there to cause chaos of some kind that i'm still not sure of. she was with a bunch of men who were trying to calm her down. the men, with their thug-like build, happened to be a bunch of wimps. they could not control a high-pitched, crazy old woman. she was screaming lots of profanities and threats, like killing our neighbors. her sharp tongue could land her in big trouble sooner or later. i was already counting in my fingers the cases that could be filed against her: harassment, oral defamation, destroying ones property, trespassing (if she breaks down the barricaded door and forces herself in), physical injury (if she tries anything that will harm the occupants of the house), robbery (if she steals anything, which i doubt she will), and murder (if she continues on executing her "vengeful" plans).

It was all empty threats. But if it isn't, then i'm willing to give a statement to the police. i took note of the names of the people she was with (she was saying their names while they were trying to calm her), what time the chaos started, what the people with her looked like (i peeked outside the window for a few seconds), the threats she screamed out, and what time they left.

after making our night into something hellish like that, they are bound to learn a lesson. i hope nothing like this would bother our peaceful nights again. or i hope we'll be able to just sleep through it.

i guess it has to do with being disconnected with internet for so long. it's been weeks since i was able to connect to the internet again. i was so busy at work lately that i didn't have the time to do any blogging. i thought that maybe today is the best time to put up one. after all, i'm already distracted enough.

just a few weeks ago i vowed to myself to refrain from putting up any shallow entries here. but i think i'm just doing the opposite. just like now.

my world is still as crazy as it was from where i left off. probably some things have considerably quieted down but not everything. next month we'll be moving to a new office space that will be farther away from my house. that means i'll have to face the inevitable. i have to rent.

thankfully, one of my officemates is willing to share an apartment with me. we'll try to look for a good place that is just a walking distance away from our office. i haven't seen the office yet, and we'll take a look on Tuesday.

everyone is excited to move. but me? well, only slightly. while having a new place will be beneficial for our department and to the whole company, the thought of renting is just too much of a hassle for me (while travelling a total of 4 hours everyday isnt?). i haven't really lived far away from home so this is a really foreign thing for me. not that i'm afraid of being separated from my mother or anything. not at all. but home is home for me. it's where i wanted to be after a long day at work. the atmosphere is very different from the crowded, polluted city of Metro Manila. while we do have some problems with our neighbors, air here is very cool and considerably clean (compared to the smog in the metro). there's a TV too (with cable) and i can easily talk about my issues without fear that i may be misunderstood or ratted out. and my room is really spacey. i love space. i don't like the feeling of being confined into a small room. i'm mildly claustrophobic, i think, but i don't get panic attacks. it just makes me annoyed to no end. i also like that i could hog the bathroom during the morning, not concerned about someone waiting to use it. and i don't have to cook my food.

but anyway, this is life. changes are bound to happen, even renting apartments for the sake of work. i hope we'll be able to find a good place where it's safe and quiet, and i hope my future housemates would be people i get along with. or else, i'd rather travel all the way home everyday.