Think Out Loud

One night, during a random discussion I had with my roommates, I found out that the careers they're living out aren't the ones they originally wanted and desired.

Ate Ana, a finance officer, wanted to be an architect, and Elvie, a social worker, wanted to be a journalist. 

This morning, as I was in the bus on my way back to Manila, I thought, "Where would we be if we were allowed by our parents to be what we want to be - career wise?"

Well, for starters, we would definitely not be sitting together in one dorm room having that conversation. Elvie, the social worker, would not be spending countless hours doing case studies. She wouldn't be living far away from her family and she wouldn't be stressing herself over problems of other people. Instead, she would be stressing herself with political issues in Bicol or something of that sort. She could be working as one of the provincial correspondents in one of the biggest mainstream broadsheets in the country. She would be trailing sources and would spend a large amount of time in the provincial offices interviewing government officials (which is not really far from what she's doing now).

Ate Ana, on the other hand, would not be spending sleepless nights doing her "finance thing" (which she is doing right now). She might not be even here in the Philippines. She could be working in the US or somewhere in the Middle East supervising building constructions. She would be sitting in her posh office overlooking vast skycrapers while she draws her latest construction project. She might be married now to an architect and have 3 children. Occasionally she'd be calling her parents and sister in the Philippines, or maybe she'd bring them with her to wherever country she'd be.

And me? Well, I'd be doing revisions on screen and stage plays (and I'd probably be having a difficult time right now because of my writer's block), memorizing my lines for an upcoming show, and doing the outline for a future book. I wouldn't be in Manila. I would be in Broadway, New York and touring Europe.

BUT...

This is the place where God wanted us to be. Just like Queen Esther, God has put us where we are now because of great things we are destined to do for Him.

I just hope we'll be able to accomplish it and He'll find us faithful.

That is why I think the Vizconde massacre killers could still be identified with all the technologies and latest scientific discoveries we have now.

That is, if we the right kind of people who can work on that - people who are competent, efficient, and most of all with integrity. If we could round up a team with these qualities, this case could be solved in less than a week. Unfortunately, that's not how the real world works. But I'm really curious to know who done it.

If I weren't working for an NGO, have the brave guts, and not an only child, I'd probably be working as an investigative journalist. And I'll be working on this Vizconde massacre case. I know I'd really work on it. I was three years old when this massacre/court circus happened and I've had this gut feeling that there are many things not right about this case.

Ever since I laid my eyes on a Nancy Drew hard bound copy and read my first one, I wanted to become a detective. I remember back in 5th grade, our computer teacher asked us to write an essay on what we wanted to be when we grow up and how computers can help us in that career, I wrote "a detective". But not as a cop.

I didn't know about investigative journalism back then because during that time - 5th grade - I haven't discovered my interest in writing yet. Until the following year. So in high school, I devoured detective novels and coupled it with writing for the school newspaper. And when I got into college, I took a communication course.

However, things change. Apparently, I found out that being an investigative journalist in this country is like signing off a death warrant. Through the years, hundreds of journalists had been killed, the Maguindanao massacre in 2009 being the most recent. More than 50 journalists were murdered there in just a few minutes. So being an investigative journalist is a dangerous job, especially if you do it in this country.

So yeah, I'm a pansy and a whimp. A scaredy cat. I am not brave enough to endanger my life, or the lives of my family and friends, just for something that will be twisted and torched by the justice system in just a single snap anyway.

But I came to realize that investigative journalism is not limited within the confines of the criminal world. In fact, there are dozens of documentaries being produced that are not "criminal" in a sense, but issues that still cry out attention. Like culture. Lost inheritance of the country. Plight of ordinary Filipinos who give extraordinary impact to the nation and the world.

So maybe I could still give investigative journalism a shot. It's not that I'm already old anyway. In fact, maybe I could give an investigate twist on the medical segments I'm producing for radio. Yeah, that would make it interesting. At least I would be excited doing my research and writing the scripts.

There are so many stories out there that are desperate to be heard, mysteries waiting to be discovered, trails that are waiting to be delved into deeper. It's only a matter of time. I think the Lord put all these mysteries in the world to make our lives more exciting and interesting, and for us to seek Him more.